St. Monica for these websites?

As a parent of teenager boys who are now adults, I have had my share of worries.  Luckily, both sons are good young men who are still practicing their Faith, but they occasionally struggle with questions about their faith, and there were a few times that I had some anxiety, doubling-down on my prayers until the crisis passed.  Even though I am no longer their legal guardian, I will always be their spiritual guardian – praying for them constantly and being there whenever they have questions or want to talk.  Over the years, I also encountered other parents at church and the homeschooling community who had at least one child who had strayed from the Church and in some cases, were living a sinful life.

During these times of crisis, I found myself turning to St. Monica for help and inspiration, learning more about her life and the difficulties she encountered.  I discovered that there is more to St. Monica than simply being the mother of St. Augustine of Hippo, one of the greatest sinner-turned-saint in the Catholic Church.

ADDICTION: When she was a young girl, she started stealing sips of wine as she filled up the carafes for their family dinner.  Apparently, she liked the taste so much that she began drinking cups of wine before bringing the bottles upstairs.  Eventually, a maidservant made a comment about her drinking, which caused Monica to self-reflect and stop her addiction immediately.  The sad fact is that in today’s world, the rate of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex/porn, and even toxic social media/cell phones) is increasing, especially among children and teenagers, and parents can pray to St. Monica and ask for her help and intercession.

ABUSIVE HUSBAND: Her pagan husband Patritius had a violent temper who verbally abused Monica and frequently committed adultery. Interestingly, he didn’t physically abuse her, even though wife-beating was common in that culture.  He also mocked her faith and refused to let their children be baptized.  Finally, he was converted about a year before his death.  Today, there are many good Catholics who are married to a non-Catholic who doesn’t understand or share this Faith, and/or can be difficult to live with.  Sadly, this trauma can also be passed onto the children, who are either victims or observers this abuse.  For those who are either in this situation (as I was) or know of someone else who is living in a difficult marriage, St. Monica is a great saint to turn to for advice and help.

NASTY MOTHER-IN-LAW:  Patritius’ mother lived with them during the entire marriage, and apparently she was as verbally abusive as her son.  She would often side with her son during his outbursts and would spread false stories about Monica to the servants.  Through this all, Monica stayed silent and eventually succeeded in converting her mother-in-law as well as Patritius.  Today, mother-in-laws are still the butt of jokes, even though there are many couples who have been blessed by good in-law families.  For those who may have one or more difficult family-in-law to deal with, St. Monica is a great saint to look up to for her example and prayers.

WIDOWED WITH YOUNG CHILDREN: St. Monica and Patritius had three children: Augustine who was believed to be the oldest, another son Navigius, and a daughter who is traditionally called Perpetua.  When Patritius died, Augustine was only 16 years old but moved out soon afterwards, leaving Monica with two other young children to raise.  It is presumed that after Patritius was converted, the two younger children were baptized as Christians and were greatly influenced by their mother. Ultimately, Navigius became a monk and Perpetua eventually became a nun and later, the superior of a community of nuns.  If you are a single parent (like me), either through death or divorce, it helps to turn to saints like Monica for her example and support.  If you also have a child who has strayed from the faith, be sure to focus on helping your other children grow close to Christ even while praying for the prodigal child.

ELDEST SON AUGUSTINE LIVED IMMORAL LIFE: In his writings, St. Augustine admits that he was essentially a juvenile delinquent.  Although he loved his mother Monica, he tended to follow his father’s footsteps in ridiculing her faith and living a sinful life, which included living with a mistress and having a son out of wedlock.  When Monica’s other children were old enough to move out, she began pursuing her son Augustine from Africa to Rome and eventually to Milan, where she and Augustine met St. Ambrose, the bishop of that city. Ultimately, Augustine was baptized on Easter in 387 A.D. when he was 33 years old, and became a model Christian.  In 391 A.D., Augustine was called to become a priest and later, the bishop of Hippo, where he lived until he died in 430 A.D. at 76 years old.  I have encountered numerous parents and grandparents who are suffering because they have children/grandchildren who have drifted from the Faith and are living in sin. These parents often invoke St. Monica, who spent her whole life praying and sacrificing for her husband and son, in the hopes of saving their souls.  In those situations when you feel discouraged or don’t see results fast enough, remember that God’s timing is not your timing, and as St. Ambrose told Monica: “It is impossible that the child of so many tears should perish.”